That bitch is a ho

I just got home and discovered that Maggie, our family dog, not only had a UTI but a 'tumor' on her lip (it's since been removed). A tumor? More like canine herpes. Our dog is clearly the neighborhood lassie. You know what I mean.

20-16 = 4

Bay Area, I've got some questions...

#1 What the FUCK is up with your weather patterns?! Just figure out if you wanna rain all day, be cloudy all day, or let the sun shine. These half-assed rainstorms have got to go. They certainly aren't doing much to help the drought, let alone my wardrobe choices.

#2 Why are there TWO exits off hwy 24 called Mt Diablo Blvd!? Very confusing. Espcially for those of us who don't have an iphone yet.

#3 Why doesn't anyone ever post a missed connection about me? I know I'm spoken for, am not really out and about much these days, let alone the fact that I work north of the golden gate, but what gives...

#4 You're slowly but surely letting Whole Foods take over the entire city. I don't neccesarily have a problem with this, but how do you feel about it? Better yet, how does Safeway feel about it?

Hella Re-nesting!

I've reignited my love affair with apartmenttherapy.com. I've literally been spending hours here instead of a more productive distraction, like reading the news, or learning about random shit on wikipeda.

It all started last week when I accidentally stumbled upon it while googling the next date for the Alameda Flea Market, which happened to be that Sunday.

I soo wish my digital camera didn't have a booger in it's eye, or else you can bet I'd be posting glorious pictures of my finds which included:

- a gorgeous vintage $30 vanity chair to replace my ugly target black papazan in my living room.
- a vintage ice cream scooper ($6), perfect for scooping out cupcake batter or cookie dough.
- A cake plate! I had my eyes set on a really cute one with a glass cover that came with it, but the moment I put it down some bitch claimed it for herself.
- A super cute Don Quixote action figure for my office (we're producing Man of La Mancha this year!)


In addition, I've cleaned out my closet (with more than six bags to give to Out of the Closet and Crossroads), and I'm ready to tackle the rest of my place. Clutter-free is the way to be.

I also blame apartment therapy for the growing collection of links in my browser of craft projects I'm attempting...

Magazine Bowl!

Scrabble Frame!

and of course

Repurposed Cake Stands!!!


If these come out half as good as teh cupcakes I made this week, I will be so happy.

Should I get this?

I've been coming back to it for months now. MONTHS. It's $45... But I'm afraid that the sleeves would cut into my arms creating a sausage-esque effect. But maybe not. Oh modcloth.com... you're amazing. Where is your store equivalent?

Should I still get the dress if I can't stop thinking about eating this:

So have I ever told you...

..About how ten plus years later, the last scene in this video still scares the SHIT out of me .Maybe it's because I love cake so much.

It's still creepier than the clip my boyfriend was traumatized by as a child and still can't get through all two minutes and sixteen seconds of as an adult.

Wait, I missed the golden globes AGAIN?

So, I took this quiz in the chronicle yesterday, and was shocked to find out a probably obvious truth:

I'm rude.

Genreally speaking- I don't think I'm a rude person. I'll gladly get up for prego and grandma on the muni any day of the week. But I have to admit-- it's mostly for the glory that I get in having other passengers listen to me sweetly ask, "Excuse me, would you like to sit down?" and think to themselves, "Oh, what a nice girl".

But I still maintain that it is not rude to read my text messages (or text flirtations) with a potential date to my friends while eating tapas in order to be funnier. It's called proof-reading. And how else are my friends going to understand why I'm ditching them after dinner?

And, if you don't know me and want to be my facebook friend-- that's practically an invitation for me to scope out your facebook page and/or google you. Chances are you're probably a bar/party promoter/drag queen anyway, and you thrive on people googling/facebook stalking you!

And one more thing-- I have no problem showing up to a dinner party alone because the invitation didn't indicate a guest, but where's option d: Politely ask the host/hostess that although your invitation didn't indicate a guest, would they mind if you brought one?? If that's considered rude, then most of my friends are just as rude, if not more rude than I am. And who's the Bitchy McQueen that's calling you up and declaring they're aren't coming because Pat wasn't invited?!

OMG I haven't blogged since last year!!!

Happy new year blog. Guess I should digitally record my transition from 08 to 09.


I threw a party again, made jello shots, had a fight with my boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend, and I told off an ex-kind-of-sort-of-but-never-was boyfriend. Good thing I majored in drama.
Cue transition...
Speaking of drama, I'm opening a new show this weekend. I play a lesbian, surprise surprise. Come see it!

Anyway, lots of things on my mind but not the will to blog. Here are some things I'm thinking about though.

- Romatic Comedies. My boyfriend unabashedly loves them. I find this both hilarious and endearing. I'm also not sure how he'll feel about me posting this. Oh well. More romantic comedy to ensue..
-New Year's Resolutions. I resolved to only make fun new year's resolutions back in '07. My resolution for '08 was to drink more champagne, which I upheld. My resolution for 2009? Bake more goodies.
- Best of 2008 blog posts. Yeah, I would've liked to have done one. But then again, chances are, we probably would pick the same things. And who really cares what I think anyway?
- My Christmukkah presents. I totally got some cool shit! I don't really understand this but I usually end up asking for wedding presents instead of christmas presents. Example- I asked for a coffee maker last year, and this year I got an electric mixer! I already made crack-frosting and cupcakes.
-My dad's taste in music. He never fails to amaze me with whatever song he's currently obsessed with.